I grew up with Catholicism, tough love, Chinese food, and strict, no-nonsense parenting. Sex was a taboo topic in my house, and talking about masturbation was even more off-limits. Now, as an adult who fully embraces my sexuality, I still find myself feeling a bit awkward when it comes to masturbation.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Many of us were taught that self-pleasure was something to be ashamed of, not an act of self-care. But it's time to change that narrative! For masturbation month this year, why don’t we go ahead and finally talk about it? Here are four top tips to help you get comfortable with masturbating and start celebrating healthy sexual self-care the way you deserve.
Educate yourself
Educating yourself about sexual wellness is a powerful step toward embracing your sexuality. It involves seeking out reliable sources, reading books, attending workshops, and engaging in open conversations about sex and self-pleasure. By learning about the benefits of masturbation, understanding your body, and exploring different techniques, you can overcome feelings of shame and discomfort. Knowledge is empowering—it helps you make informed choices, boosts your confidence, and allows you to fully appreciate and enjoy your sexual health. Embrace this journey of self-discovery and prioritize your well-being, because you deserve to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin.
If you’re keen to explore the intricacies of solo play, why not check out Own Your O: The Shame-Free Guide to Self Pleasure?
Here at Nancy, we noticed that despite there being some progress in the self-love conversation, there simply wasn’t enough content out there. Especially for folks who grew up in conservative households, where talking about sex - let alone solo sex - was taboo. To address this, we joined forces with Sara Tang, our in-house sexologist and sex coach, to make a course focused on a crucial yet overlooked topic: self-pleasure.
Start slow
Starting slow is key when it comes to getting comfortable with masturbation. Begin by creating a relaxing environment where you feel safe and free from distractions. Light some candles, play soft music, or take a warm bath to set a calming mood. Take time to explore your body gently, focusing on what feels good without any pressure to achieve a particular outcome. Start by simply touching your skin, learning how different touches and sensations make you feel. Pay attention to areas that respond positively and allow yourself to enjoy these moments without any expectations. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually introduce different techniques and tools, such as lubricants or toys, to enhance your experience. Remember, there's no rush—this is your time to connect with yourself and discover what brings you pleasure. Embracing a slow and patient approach helps build a positive and enjoyable relationship with your body and your sexuality. Give yourself permission to explore at your own pace and celebrate each step towards greater self-awareness and confidence.
Create a safe space for pleasure
Creating a safe space for pleasure is essential for fully embracing your sexuality. Start by choosing a private, comfortable environment where you can relax without interruptions. This could be your bedroom, a cozy corner, or even a luxurious bath. Ensure the space feels inviting by adding elements that soothe and inspire you—soft lighting, calming scents, plush pillows, and your favorite music can all help set the mood. It's important to establish boundaries and communicate them with any partners to maintain your comfort and safety. By creating a safe, inviting space, you allow yourself to focus entirely on the experience, free from distractions and worries. This sanctuary becomes a place where you can explore your desires, connect with your body, and celebrate your pleasure without judgment or inhibition. Embrace this space as your own, a haven where you can nurture and enjoy your sexual well-being.
Enjoy the journey
Enjoying the journey of self-pleasure is all about embracing the process rather than focusing solely on the end goal. Allow yourself to be fully present in each moment, appreciating the sensations and emotions as they come. Approach each experience with curiosity and openness, exploring what feels good without any pressure or expectations. Take your time to discover new areas of pleasure, different techniques, and how your body responds. Pay attention to the subtle changes in your sensations and emotions, and let yourself be guided by what feels best in the moment.
Celebrate the small victories and learnings along the way, recognizing that this journey is unique to you. Each session is an opportunity to deepen your understanding of your own body and desires. You might find that different times, moods, or settings bring new experiences and sensations. Embrace this variability as part of the adventure, knowing that there's no right or wrong way to explore your pleasure.
By savoring the exploration, you cultivate a deeper connection with yourself and your desires. It's important to remind yourself that pleasure is not just about the destination—it's about the entire experience. Enjoying the journey allows you to fully appreciate and celebrate your sexuality, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying self-care routine. Make time for this journey regularly, and let it be a source of joy, relaxation, and self-discovery. Celebrate your unique path to pleasure, and let each step bring you closer to a more profound and loving relationship with yourself.
Let Uno take the wheel!
Why not take the solo play backseat, and let someone else drive for once?
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