The Orgasm Gap is real and it's about time we spoke about it.

The Orgasm Gap is real and it's about time we spoke about it.

Can you believe that despite the strides women have made in the past and their success in many areas, there are still inequalities that persist between the sexes, some of which receive more attention than others. Have you ever heard of the orgasm gap? If not, let me enlighten you—it's a genuine problem that demands our attention.

The orgasm gap refers to the significant disparity between men and women when it comes to achieving climax (an orgasm). Studies have shown that only 55% of women  (as compared to 95% of men are likely to have an orgasm during a sexual encounter.

Closing the orgasm gap requires a collective effort, open conversation and a commitment to sexual education. Its important to know that a lot of people grew up with limited sex education and knowledge about sexual pleasure and its importance. To bridge the gap, everyone must enhance their understanding of female sexuality and pleasure.

Let’s talk about ways we can collectively close the orgasm gap!

Let’s redefine sex

Reimagining the concept of sex offers a potent strategy for addressing the orgasm gap. It entails expanding our perception of sexual experiences beyond mere intercourse and embracing a wide range of pleasurable activities that bring satisfaction to both partners. It is crucial to prioritise not only internal stimulation but also external forms of pleasure.

At first glance, it might appear paradoxical to discuss the orgasm gap while advocating for a reduced emphasis on achieving orgasm as the ultimate goal. However, by shifting our mindset away from the sole pursuit of orgasm, we create an environment where both partners can unwind and fully relish the experience in ways that bring them joy. This inclusive approach allows for a more fulfilling sexual encounter where the focus lies in the journey itself, rather than fixating on a specific endpoint. By expanding our understanding of sex and embracing diverse avenues of pleasure, we contribute to narrowing the orgasm gap and fostering a more gratifying sexual landscape for all individuals involved.

Understand your own pleasure

Gaining a deep understanding of your own pleasure is essential for bridging the orgasm gap. When women know how to achieve orgasm through self-exploration, they are more likely to guide their partners in providing the desired stimulation. Rather than relying solely on the hope of experiencing pleasure, I encourage all individuals with a vulva to take ownership of their own satisfaction.

Masturbation plays a crucial role in discovering what arouses and satisfies you, as well as understanding how your clitoris prefers to be stimulated. Don't feel intimidated if you haven't used a sex toy before. There are numerous user-friendly vibrators, such as Uno or Lem, designed to provide direct clitoral stimulation. These can be wonderful additions to your solo sessions or even enhance intimacy with a partner.

However, it's important to recognise that a significant portion of arousal and pleasure for women originates in the mind. Therefore, it's crucial to let go of concerns about your partner's enjoyment or whether you will reach climax. Engaging in mental distractions during intimate moments can detract from fully experiencing pleasure. Instead, focus on being fully present in the moment, allowing yourself to immerse in the sensations and embrace the potential for heightened pleasure.


Communication plays a vital role in closing the orgasm gap. Openly expressing your desires and needs to your partner is crucial for achieving climax. Consider incorporating extended foreplay sessions, sometimes referred to as "play sessions," which focus on exploration and understanding each other's preferences beyond penetration.

Feel free to make specific requests to your partner, such as asking for a slower pace, more clitoral stimulation, or introducing a sex toy. Most partners genuinely want to bring you pleasure, so clear communication empowers them to enhance your experience.

Additionally, it's important to acknowledge that not every sexual encounter needs to end in orgasm. If you're not anticipating reaching climax on a particular occasion, communicate openly with your partner about your expectations. It's essential to avoid faking an orgasm, as this can perpetuate unfulfilling actions. Honesty and open communication are key for both partners to explore new avenues of pleasure and create a more satisfying sexual experience together.

Repeat after me: Sexual pleasure is a right for everyone

Sexual pleasure is a fundamental aspect of human experience that should be recognised as important for individuals of all genders. It is unfair that one part of the heterosexual population often experiences less pleasure due to a lack of understanding about the female body. Pleasure should not be limited to any specific gender; it is equally valid and necessary for everyone.

It is important to take proactive steps and seek proper education about female anatomy and sexuality. By doing so, we can challenge and eliminate the cultural problem at its core. It is time to break down the barriers of ignorance and promote a more inclusive and informed approach to sexual pleasure.

Let us create a world where individuals have the knowledge and understanding to experience fulfilling and pleasurable sexual lives!

Let’s Lem this Christmas 🍋

First off, merry, merry Christmas and happy holidays from all of us here at Nancy! We bet you're soaking up all the festive Christmas cheer right now. How about we sprinkle in a little extra tang to your holiday festivities?

Trust us when we say lemons aren't just delicious in mulled wine; they’re great in… other areas, as well 😉 So spice up your festive season with Lem - our little secret to making the holidays extra zesty. Lem adds a playful spark to your celebrations. Compact, beginner-friendly, and equipped with unique air suction technology, it's the perfect companion for some merry 'me time'. So, raise your glasses and let's toast to a tastefully fresh Christmas with Lem!

“Ever since I introduced Lem into my life, it's been nothing short of ah-mazing! Every experience with it leaves a lasting impression… It's become my little secret to adding spice to moments with my bf. Great for those looking to add a little extra fun!” - Mika,

Because we're feeling extra jolly, use the code 'dirtytalk' for a 10% discount. Order now and get ready to light up your festive season with a bit of self-love sparkle! 🌟 Happy Holidays, and here's to a season filled with love, laughter, and a little bit of naughty and nice🎄♥

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