Ah, the human body. It's beautiful, powerful, and often downright mysterious. Despite living in what feels like a sexually liberated era, many of us still harbor misconceptions about what happens behind closed doors. Today, we're diving deep into some of the most persistent myths about our bodies and pleasure, starting with the often misunderstood phenomenon of squirting. 💦
The Truth About Squirting: What's Really Happening?
Let's get one thing straight right away: squirting is absolutely real. According to a landmark study based on a nationally representative US survey, about 40% of women have experienced squirting in their lifetime. But what exactly is happening when someone squirts?
For years, the big question has been: "Is it just pee?" The answer is more nuanced than a simple yes or no.
In a fascinating 2022 study, researchers actually emptied women's bladders with a catheter, injected blue dye into them, and then collected the fluid after they squirted during sexual stimulation. The fluid contained the blue dye, confirming it came from the bladder, but interestingly, it also contained fluid from the Skene's glands.
So while squirting fluid does contain some components of urine, it's not just urine. As Dr. Devon J. Hensel, lead researcher of the landmark study, explained: "There are some similarities in the makeup of the fluid, but it's definitely not pee."
The fluid often contains prostatic-specific antigen (PSA), which is produced by the Skene's glands (sometimes called the female prostate). And as many who have experienced it can attest, the fluid doesn't look, smell, or taste like urine.
Common Myths About Squirting
Myth 1: Squirting isn't real; it's just made up for porn.
Reality: As we've established, squirting is absolutely a real physiological response. A 1984 study found that 54% of women have experienced an "orgasmic expulsion of fluid" at least once, and a more recent 2017 study found 69% of women between ages 18 and 39 had experienced ejaculation during orgasm.
Myth 2: Squirting and female ejaculation are the same thing.
Reality: Though often used interchangeably, some research distinguishes between the two. Squirting typically refers to the release of a clear, colorless fluid in larger quantities, while female ejaculation describes the release of a smaller amount of whitish fluid containing similar components to semen. And yes, both can happen simultaneously!
Myth 3: All women can squirt with the right stimulation.
Reality: While many women can squirt, not everyone will. Research suggests that anywhere between 10% and 54% of women may experience female ejaculation during orgasm, and a recent study suggests that as many as 69% of women can squirt during sex. Bodies are wonderfully diverse, and your sexual response is uniquely yours.
Myth 4: Squirting always happens during orgasm.
Reality: Not necessarily! Contrary to what theatrical (and often fake) porn may lead you to believe, not everyone who is able to squirt does so while orgasming. Sometimes it happens before, during, or after orgasm, and some people who have satisfying orgasms never squirt at all.
Beyond Squirting: More Sex Misconceptions Debunked
While we're in myth-busting mode, let's tackle a few other common sexual misconceptions:
The "Pull Out" Method is Reliable
Many people believe withdrawal is an effective contraception method, but the reality is less reassuring. While the "pull out" method can reduce the risk of pregnancy when conducted properly, it's only about a 78% effective method and can be difficult to execute in the heat of the moment.
Even when performed perfectly, the pull out method has a 4% failure rate. For comparison, condoms have a 2% failure rate. Plus, pre-ejaculate ("pre-cum") can contain sperm. Yes, that means you can get pregnant even if your partner pulls out before ejaculating! 🙃
All Women Orgasm from Penetration Alone
Here's another persistent myth that needs debunking: Studies report that nearly 75% of women don't orgasm through vaginal sex alone. According to a recent study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, almost 37% of women said they need some other sort of stimulation during intercourse to achieve an orgasm.
The clitoris is often the star of the show when it comes to pleasure, with many women needing direct or indirect clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Every body is different, so explore what works for you and your partner rather than following a script of what you think "should" happen.
Sex Must Be Spontaneous to Be Good
Many couples worry when the spontaneous passion of early romance fades. But here's the truth: Sex does not have to be spontaneous to be great! When the novelty of a relationship wears off, and you start navigating daily stressors and responsibilities, the likelihood of so-called spontaneous sex naturally wanes.
Think of treating sex like any other valued activity (making a special meal, going on vacation, doing your favorite hobby); to make all these things happen, you need to plan for it, schedule it, and make sure the tsunami of 'to dos' doesn't intrude. Planning for intimacy can actually build anticipation and lead to more satisfying encounters.
Sex Drive Inevitably Fades in Long-Term Relationships
This is one of those myths that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. While this is a common trend, it is not inevitable. It's often the sense of passivity that brings relationships to a sexless place.
In her research of long-term partners who reported having "great sex," sex researcher Peggy Kleinplatz found that eight major factors were present: a capacity for being present, fostering connection, creating deep intimacy, extraordinary communication, interpersonal risk-taking and exploration, authenticity, vulnerability, and transcendence. Notice how none of these factors have anything to do with the length of the relationship, it's all about intention and communication.
Your Partner Should "Just Know" What You Want
We love the fantasy of a partner who intuitively understands our every desire, but in reality, the idea of a 'perfect lover' who would just 'know' your body and deliver orgasms is a fantasy that prevents folks from taking responsibility for their pleasure.
Clear communication is the key to a fulfilling sex life. Talking about what you want might feel awkward at first, but it's the most direct route to pleasure and connection. Your partner isn't a mind reader (unfortunately!), so use your words. 💬
How to Explore Squirting (If You're Curious)
If you're intrigued about squirting and want to explore this potential aspect of your sexuality, here are some tips:
Create a relaxed environment: Prepping your surroundings can help. Laying down towels or a waterproof throw makes cleanup easier and removes worries about making a mess.
Stay hydrated: Being well-hydrated may not directly help you squirt, but it makes it easier for you to get wet and boosts your blood flow, which is crucial to reaching orgasm.
Focus on the G-spot: Try stimulating the G-spot, which is located about 1-3 inches inside the vagina on the front wall. Applying gentle pressure while simultaneously putting pressure on the lower belly with your other hand may help.
Combine with clitoral stimulation: According to certified sex coach Gigi Engle, squirting "usually comes from G-spot stimulation, or clitoral and G-spot dual stimulation".
Relax and release: One of the keys to being able to squirt is a comfortable, relaxed pelvic floor. Think of trying to push anything out while tensed up, it doesn't happen. Let go of expectations and focus on pleasure instead.
Consider a toy: There are plenty of clever gadgets out there specifically designed to hit the G-spot and give you the kind of stimulation that may lead to squirting.
Remember it's not the goal: You can have incredible orgasms and awesome sex without the big gush. Your body's ability or inability to expel liquid doesn't define you, and it certainly doesn't mean you can't have a totally fulfilling and exciting sex life.
Final Thoughts
Our bodies are amazing, complex systems, and our sexual responses are equally varied and unique. Whether you squirt or don't, orgasm through penetration or need clitoral stimulation, prefer spontaneous encounters or planned passion sessions, it's all perfectly normal.
The key to a fulfilling sex life isn't hitting some arbitrary benchmark of "normal", it's understanding your own body, communicating openly with partners, and focusing on what brings you pleasure and connection. Let's leave the myths behind and embrace the beautiful diversity of human sexuality. ✨
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FAQ: More Sex Myths Debunked
Q: Can you get pregnant during your period?
A: Yes, while conception is most likely when intercourse occurs a few days before or during ovulation, it is still possible to get pregnant during your period. Sperm can live in the female body for up to five days under the right conditions.
Q: Does douching after sex prevent pregnancy?
A: No, taking a shower or douching after sex DOES NOT prevent pregnancy.
Q: Is masturbation harmful?
A: Not at all! In fact, most current literature and research say the exact opposite. Masturbation can be really good for us, especially if we are in a relationship. It helps you learn about your body and what you like, which you can then communicate to your partner.
Q: Do men really think about sex every 7 seconds?
A: A 2011 study in the Journal of Sex Research debunked this myth. The findings revealed men think about sex far less than you think, averaging about 19 sex thoughts per day instead of the nearly 8,000 thoughts per day that would occur if men were really thinking about sex every seven seconds.
Q: Will having sex in water prevent pregnancy?
A: Having sex in a pool DOES NOT prevent pregnancy. Water doesn't wash away or kill sperm, and you can definitely still get pregnant in water.
